SQOTD: 2 November '09, Rules and Randomness

Well, that was as much fun as I remember it. But things have changed in SQOTD-Land. It is with a heavy heart and crippling sadness that I must inform you that eBay has made it so that I can no longer right click copy the pictures of the prizes and post them in the body of the article (not that I even know that Blogger would let me... or how I would go about doing that on the off-chance that the technology exists here. I'm not what you would call, Freakin' Amazing when it comes to UIs and such. I sort of muddle along and, like a really autistic pig, happen upon a shiny truffle.)

Where were we? Oh, yes. I was about to announce our winner and provide you with the link to the prize. Since we can't have a picture and I are one of them writers, for fun, sport, profit and brain exercise I will describe the prize to you before I link the eBay posting in. This way, you don't have to to visit the link unless you want to, and I take another baby-step in my 40 (so far) year plan of staving off Alzheimer's Disease.

We all win, no?

Okay, the first official winner of the New Stupid Question of the Day (Now 50% SQOTDier!) is...

[Drumroll here]

Aniko! I think she's going by Aniko here. Whatever; Aniko wins... and this is a doozy of a prize, if I do say so myself.

We have, for the lovely Aniko, according to the item listing a "Snoopy an Duck Popato." For our purposes here, let's absolutely assume they mean a "potato." I am currently flipping between the editor tab and the picture of the prize, and I have to tell you something... I fucking HATE myself for offering to describe this prize first. Fucking Hemingway would be at a loss for words -- if I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

Okay, here goes... the "Snoopy" half of this dynamic spud duo looks nothing like Charlie Brown's beloved canine companion -- and it's kind of strange to describe him that way, 'cause you rarely see Snoopy anywhere near Mr. C. Brown. Isn't that weird? Did anybody else ever notice that? Is this some sort of, like, "dog ownership of convenience" -- maybe Snoopy is Canadian but needs to be in the country so he and Charlie Brown have struck a deal. Or Charlie Brown adopted Snoopy and after they spent some time together, they just discovered they didn't have much in common, but they're used to each other; you know, like every relationship I've had in the last ten years. They aren't great, but they're better than sleeping alone?

I don't even know. I'm now all wrapped up in the dysfunctional relationship Charlie Brown and Snoopy have and that ain't describing the damned potato. Whatever. Just trust me -- that potato looks nothing like Snoopy. It looks like two potatoes stacked on top of each other.

Now, the other potato does look, remarkably like a duck-shaped potato, and that's kind of cool.

And, once again, my plans are somewhat foiled, because I was gonna be all, like, stealthy and cool and award this to Aniko as a super-special prize; it would be like giving her both Doyle and Duckie (DUCKIE!!)

But the stupid not-Snoopy potato ruined it. Dammit. Here -- see for yourself.

Enjoy your potatoes, Aniko -- and everybody should, like me, get all wrapped up and entranced with the description the seller has left ("Here is a Snoopy and a duck popato.")

God, I hate people. Go to the trouble of photographing a not-Snoopy-looking-potato and a pretty decent Duck-looking potato, but don't fucking proofread yourself. Somebody's been dipping in the Dumbass Jar.

Anyway, all yours, Aniko!

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It occurs to me that we might need a refresher course on Stupid Question of The Day Rules and Etiquette. First of all, using your brain is perfectly acceptable. Failing to answer the question is also completely kosher. Hell, like threadjacking, it's freakin' encouraged.

Being Stupid is not -- and bitching about how "not nice" an answer is or "how mean" someone is will get you nothing but ridiculed. If you're looking for "gentle" or "polite," you'll probably want one of those blogs with kittens on the page or something with "scrapbooking" in the title. That ain't my bag, dolls and daddy-os.

Don't piss people off. The best you could hope for in that instance is being ignored. The worst, well... just don't do it. And if someone hurts your wittle feewings, don't come crying to me. I'm no Jean Dixon, but I can tell you right now that I won't care.

DO NOT NECROMANCE A POST WITH AN ANSWER! I can't stress this enough. First of all, you'll look like the biggest Douchey McTool ever (Hey -- look at me! I'm entering a contest that's over!!Eleventy-one!!!) and secondly, if I have to wander back somewhere for something other than the continuation of a good conversation, I'ma be hella pissed. Review that: Continuing conversation = Great. Answering When It's Over = DUMBASSERY.

No over-use of 'net speak. LOL, ROFL, and the like are fine in small doses, but if you're relying on them to be your entire comment, you're in the wrong place. Use your big boy/girl words -- and we're a grown-up group, so you can drop an F-bomb, if it makes sense to. Cussing a blue streak for the sake of cussing a blue streak is kind of, um... Stupid and you should save that shit for your two minute break between English and P.E.

As always, winning answers are chosen using a super-secret, scientific method (i.e., in a completely, random, arbitrary fashion. It's my fucking questions and while I'll entertain your suggestions, ultimately -- if I'm tickled, you win.)

Prizes generally are culled from eBay, but I'll accept suggestions from the audience if you PM the to me somehow (I think you can do that here; I don't know.) Prizes should be SUPER-WTF?!-flavored. If I can't find anything sufficiently odd, I've been known to hand out titles (which is why we have Official Ninjas, Bell Ringers, Moonshiners, a psychic and... uh, does anybody remember their title? If so, weigh in with them, please.) I'll also accept suggestions for SQOTDs. I don't repeat (or I try not to -- no promises, though. I've done a fair amount of these in the past, so...)

Finally, brand new SQOTDS generally happen Monday through Friday, and less often if I don't feel like it. We'll see -- again, no promises. One of the most important things to remember is that the comment threads are often more entertaining than the actual slop that I toss out (unless I get a jalapeno stuck in my nose, or something happens at the Casa D'Pants, but we can't always count on that.)

I think those are all of them. If you old timers can remember any that I've forgot, leave 'em in a comment.

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And your latest SQOTD, which is an oldie but a goodie and more "suggestion" than "question:

Lay a crazy non seqitur on me now. Whatever -- something completely random. Bonus points awarded randomly.

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GODDAMMIT! Just as I was about to post this, I popped back over to the popatos, and found out bidding had ended. Trust me -- that fucking potato looked NOTHING like Snoopy. To make up for it, I will offer this to Aniko:

It's the best I could do since eBay jacked me. *Sigh*

Ahh, business as usual at the SQOTD!